In the kindergarten snatches others child's toy, has the matter to be all right provokes other children. Teacher speaks the truth with him, his left ear enters, the right ear leaves; Will also cry acts shamelessly greatly noisily. Sometimes, teacher to drive vast, to vast said: Vast, if you today and the child is friendly, teacher rewards you big 5 stars of chicom flag. Trades is other children, will be very definitely excited nods, but vast actually not completely indifferently said that in my family will have many many five pointed stars! At home, was, depended has grandfather paternal grandmother to protect, no matter father and mother were ominous to him, he did not fear, moreover also intentionally provoked: I only then do not fear you! Is really kid who is intractableOne year, vast must enter a school again shortly, how could this appearance be able to be good? Father and mother, grandfather paternal grandmothers very much worry, but did not know how to do is only then good?
Why will be intractable
Looks like the child who vast is intractable like this to let the human be very troublesome truly, comes softly to him, for instance wears to him wears a dunce cap, he suffices to think oneself infallible originally, no matter others have felt, listens to the word of praise again, is that insufferably arrogant; Comes hardly to him,kids costumes, he had completely understood probably from the start adult's trick, knows oneself also not able to eat all how many suffering, therefore is also harder than adult. If such child guides not early, then in the future behavior with difficulty standard, will have the problem unavoidably. Therefore, is the parents, certainly must take the question which the child is intractable, gives the adjustment early.
Is the same with all questions,personalized gifts for kids, if wants to improve the condition which vast is intractable, why first can be clear vast will be intractable - -
1 soft is not soft, hard is not hard, I certainly do not eat
This is the first reason which vast is intractable, is also one of great importance reasons. We knew that any effective means must be the arriving, otherwise can only be the wasted effort or is contrary to what expects. Said by no means softly vehicle word of praise or for a big pile of good thing, hard hits the buttocks or punish by forcing to stand and so on punishment. True soft is softly to the child at heart, lets the child think that obtained has needed, the change was intelligent is worth; But true hard is also hardly to the child at heart, lets the child think that does not change is impossible, must change. But to vast soft and hard very possible becomes because of the class in the surface invalid - -
For instance, speaking of vast snatches others toy or provokes other children the behavior, its true demand lets the child cry intentionally by no means or the vitality, but is wants to play with the child, brings to child's attention, if therefore teacher or the guardian only and vast says wants the friendly and so on soft truth with the child, to vast does not certainly have what essence to help, vast naturally not or obeys with difficulty.
Took hardly again, the hard fundamentals lay in are clear, strict and uniformity. So-called is clear, which behaviors is reasonable or which behaviors is unreasonable to, has the explicit stipulation; Strict, is to violates the fundamental rule the behavior to point out mistakes firmly; The uniformity is so long as presents some unreasonable behavior, can obtain the similar response or handling. Speaking of vast, these three spots are not very possibly hard: First, the vast family member or teacher to vast have a set of explicit behavior stipulation? For instance pointed out explicitly anything is friendly - - and the child may do together in which, which can't do. Next, the vast family member or teacher pays attention the vast unreasonable behavior, could use and so on to grow up frequently the nature to console oneself on the good reason? Also, in vast presents the unreasonable behavior time, the family member or will teacher be mostly will give the consistent response, for instance, so long as vast will act shamelessly, will not give pays attention.
Please the vast family member and teacher think carefully that usually to vast soft and is hard whether to arrive, whether can let the vast heart move for it.
2 adults one will be soft, one will be hard, I did not know that which set should eat
If front a spot is soft and hard utilizes the improper words alone, then this reason was soft and the hard coordinate utilization question. Yes, speaking of the child, must speak the soft truth, must use the hard rule, if the two can unify ingeniously, the effect certainly will be good; But if the two coordinate improper, will create vast such felt that adult one will be soft, a hard chaotic feeling. The reason that will have the confusion, often will be because of adult's emotionalism, adult lacks the intrinsic uniformity: When the mood is good, treated leniently frequently to the vast unreasonable behavior, said that several were good; But the mood is agitated,cheap kids clothing, meets violent storm to the vast similar unreasonable behavior, gives the euphemistic name does not hit does not become a useful adult. No matter is originally soft or hard, is to let vast understand the behavior rule, between the understanding behavior and the result relations, the academic society self-control; But such using both persuasion and threats, will only let vast think that the behavior result will be decided by adult's mood, how to make not direct relation with. In the final analysis, this is a uniform question, not only insists the emphasis uniformity, uses both persuasion and threats must be fastidious about the uniformity.
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